If you see a below a quote, that means there's a sound clip for it. Click on the image to download.

These come from the script, some might be different and I've changed those I remember.

Click here for quotes from the book.



Rules of Fight Club
1. You do not talk about 'Fight Club'.
2. You do not talk about 'Fight Club'.
3. When someone yells "Stop" or goes limp, or taps out, the fight is over.
4. Only two guys to a fight.
5. One fight at a time.
6. No shirts, no shoes.
7. Fights go on as long as they have to.
8. If this is your first night at 'Fight Club', you have to fight.

Boss: "Is that your blood?"
Narrator: "Some of it, yeah."

Narrator: "You're insane!"
Tyler: "No. I think you'll find that you're insane."

Narrator: "I... I don't know. I guess... when people think
you're dying, they really listen, instead..."
Marla: "-Instead of just waiting for their turn to speak."

Tyler Durden: "OK: any historic figure."
Narrator: "I'd fight Gandhi."
Tyler Durden: "Good answer."
Narrator: "How about you?"
Tyler Durden: "Lincoln."
Narrator: "Lincoln?"
Tyler Durden: "Big guy, big reach. Skinny
guys fight 'til they're burger."

Narrator: "A new car built by my company
leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The
rear differential locks up. The car crashes
and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now:
should we initiate a recall? Take the number
of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the
probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the
average out-of-court settlement, C. A times
B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost
of a recall, we don't do one."
Business woman on plane: "Are there a lot of
these kinds of accidents?"
Narrator: "You wouldn't believe."
Business woman on plane: "Which car company do
you work for?"
Narrator: "A major one."

Tyler: "Any last words?"
Narrator"I can't think of anything."

Voice-over: "I think this is about where we came in."
Tyler: "Any last words?"
Narrator: "I still can't think of anything."
Tyler: "Oh flashback humour, very funny."

Narrator: "Tyler, you are by far the most
interesting single-serving friend I've ever
met. I have this thing, everything you get
on a plane is single-serving..."
Tyler: "Oh, I get it. It's very clever. How's
that working out for you?"
Narrator: "What?"
Tyler: "Being clever"

Narrator: "You're a tourist. I saw you at melanoma,
tuberculosis and testicular cancer."
Marla: "I saw you practicing this...
Narrator: "Practicing what?"
Marla: "Telling me off. Is it going as well as you hoped?"

Tyler: "Did you know that if you mix equal parts
of gasoline and equal parts frozen orange juice
concentrate, you can make napalm?"
Narrator: "No, I did not know that, is that true?
Tyler: "That's right. One can make all kinds of
explosives using simple household items."
Narrator: "Really."
Tyler: "If one were so inclined."

"Bob, Bob had bitch tits."

"With insomnia, you're never really asleep;
you're never really awake."

"Like everyone else, I had become a
slave to the IKEA nesting instinct.
If I saw something like clever coffee
table sin the shape of a yin and yang,
I had to have it. I would flip through
catalogs and wonder, "What kind of dining
set defines me as a person?" We used to
read pornography. Now it was the Horchow
Collection. I had it all. Even the glass
dishes with tiny bubbles and imperfections,
proof they were crafted by the honest,
simple, hard-working indigenous peoples of

"Home was a condo on the fifteenth
floor of a filing cabinet for widows
and young professionals. The walls
were solid concrete. A foot of
concrete is important when your next-
door neighbor lets her hearing aid go
and has to watch game shows at full
volume Or when a volcanic blast of debris
that used to be your furniture and
personal effects blows out your floor-
to-ceiling windows and sails flaming
into the night."

"For six months, I couldn't sleep.
With insomnia, nothing is real.
Everything is far away. Everything
is a copy of a copy of a copy."

"When deep space exploration ramps up,
it will be corporations that name
everything. The IBM Stellar Sphere.
The Philip Morris Galaxy. Planet

"That old saying, how you always hurt
the one you love, well, it works both

"This is your life and it's ending one
minute at a time."

"I am Jack's smirking revenge."
"I am Jack's cold sweat"
"I am Jack's raging bile duct"
"I am Jack's broken heart"
"I am Jack's complete lack of surprise"

"And then... something happened. I let go.
Lost in oblivion -- dark and silent
and complete. I found freedom. Losing
all hope was freedom."

"I wasn't really dying, I wasn't host
to cancer or parasites; I was the
warm little center that the life of
this world crowded around."

"If I did have a tumor, I would name it
Marla. Marla, the little scratch on the
roof of your mouth that would heal if only
you would stop tonguing it, but you can't."

"I wanted to destroy something beautiful."

"You met me at a very strange time in my life"

"Every evening I died and every
evening I was born again. Resurrected."

"Marla -- the big tourist. Her lie
reflected my lie."

"With a gun in your mouth, you speak only
in vowels."

"On a long enough timeline, the survival
rate for everyone drops to zero."

"We were selling rich women their own fat
asses back to them."

"How embarrassing - a house full of condiments
and no food"

"I want bowel cancer!"

"You look good. You ... look ... like
a pirate."

"That wasn't just a bunch of stuff that got
blown up. That condo was my life!!! ...I'd like
to thank the Academy..."

"I wanted to put a bullet between the eyes of
every panda that wouldn't screw to save its

"I'd be very careful who I talked to about
this paper. It sounds like some dangerous
psychotic killer wrote this,and this buttoned
down schizo could probably snap at any moment and
stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-180
carbine gas-operated semiautomatic."

"Ahh, Chloe. Chloe looked the way
Meryl Streeps's skeleton would look
if you made it smile and walk around
the party being extra nice to everyone."

"In the Tibetan philosophy, Sylvia Plath
sense of the word, we're all dying. But
you're not dying the way Chloe is dying."

"If you wake up at a different time
and in a different place, could you
wake up as a different person?"

"The people I meet on each flight --
they're single-serving friends.
Between take-off and landing, we have
our time together, but that's all we

"Worker bees can leave
Even drones can fly away
The queen is their slave."
~Narrator Haiku~

"A guy started at Fight Club, his ass was a wad of cookie
dough. After a few weeks, he was carved out of wood."

"After fighting, everything else in your life has
got the volume turned down."

"I felt like putting a bullet between the
eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its
species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers
and smother all the French beaches I'd never see. I wanted
to breathe smoke."

"You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh."

"Our generation has had no Great Depression, no Great War.
Our war is spiritual. Our depression is our lives."

"You are not your job.
You are not how much you have in the bank.
You are not the contents of your wallet.
You are not your fucking Khakis.
You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake.
You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of
the world."

"In the world I see -- you're stalking elk through
the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center.
You will wear leather clothes that last you the rest of your
life. You will climb the wrist- thick kudzu vines that wrap
the Sears Tower. You will see tiny figures pounding corn and
laying-strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of the
ruins of a superhighway."

"How much can you know about yourself
if you've never been in a fight?"

"We are a generation raised by women.
I'm wondering if another woman is the answer."

"We were raised on television to believe
that we'd all be millionares, movie gods,
rock stars, but we won't. And we're
starting to figure that out."

"You are not special. You are not a
beautiful or unique snowflake. You are
the same decaying organic matter as
everything else."

"It's only after you've lost everything
that you're free to do anything."

"Man, you've got some fucked up friends.
Limber, though..."

"The things you own end up owning you."

"You studied stuff? How were the mid-terms?"

"Now a question of ettiquite, do I give you the ass
or the crotch?"

"Look at you, running around in your underwear, you
look like a crazy person"

"Cut the foreplay and just ask, man."

"We are defined by the choices we make."

"You just had a near-life experience."

"I make and I sell soap."

"Sticking feathers up your butt does not make
you a chicken."

"Whoa! Now you're shooting a gun at your imaginary friend
near four hundred gallons of nitroglycerine."

"Hitting bottom isn't a weekend retreat! It's not a seminar!
You have to forget everything you know, everything you think
you know -- about life, about friendship, about you and me."

"Your mom and dad will have to call kindly doctor
so-and-so to dig up your dental records, because there
won't be much left of your face."

"Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond
K. Hessell's life. His breakfast will taste better
than any meal he has ever eaten."

"The condom is the glass slipper of our
generation. You slip it on, you dance
the night away with a stranger, and then
you throw it away - the condom, that is,
not the stranger."

"It's a bridesmaid's dress. Someone loved it intensely
for one day, then tossed it. Like a Christmas tree --
so special, then, bam -- it's abandoned on the side of
the road, tinsel still clinging to it. Like sex crime
victims, underwear inside-out, bound with electrical tape."

"This isn't a for-real suicide thing. This is
probably one of those cry-for-help things."

"Do you want to listen and see if my spirit can
use the telephone?"

"I'm calling it asshole tax"

"My tit's going to rot off."

"You fuck me, then snub me. You love me, you hate
me. You show me your sensitive side, then you turn
into a total asshole! Is that a pretty accurate
description of our relationship, Tyler?"

"The girl who lives there used to be a charming,
lovely girl, but she's lost faith in herself. She's a
monster! She's infectious human waste! Good luck trying
to save her!"

"I've been going to debtor's anonymous. You want to see
some truly fucked up people?"


"I haven't been fucked like that
since grade school!"

"I want to have your abortion."
(Changed because of censors)

"Well, I'm still here -- but I don't
know for how long. That's as much
certainty as anyone can give me. but
I've got some good news -- I no
longer have any fear of death.
But... I am in a pretty lonely place.
No one will have sex with me. I'm so
close to the end and all I want is to
get laid for the last time. I have
pornographic movies in my apartment,
and lubricants and amyl nitrate ..."


"He [Tyler] was born in a mental institution and he sleeps
only one hour a night"

"He was killed serving project mayhem."
~Angel Face~

"And you! You're too... blonde!"

"Can I get the icon in cornflower blue?"

"In the event of a dildo, we have to use the indefinite
article 'a dildo', never 'your dildo'"

Spacemonkies: "His name is Robert Paulson! His name is
Robert Paulson!"

"They're gonna have to open my pec's again to drain the

"My name is Bob."

"I was always interested in films that scar."
~David Fincher~

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I am Jack's insane mind.
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